BHS Blogress Report: 2018, Week 51 – Hypest

Week 51 – Hypest
The first part of this week’s Report will be a pretty significant downer, sorry. Skip the next two paragraphs if you’re not in the mood.
So, it’s been a week of two goodbyes, neither of which I wanted. Yesterday night at midnight I logged out of my Tumblr for the final time, as I took part in the Log Off protest against their authoritarian new policy. Yes, I know, Tumblr’s been a trash fire for some time, that this is just the last nail in its coffin, and that I’m better off migrating to a place that won’t shun or censor me or others like me for being who we are… but as awful as the site could be, it was my trash fire, dammit. I felt at home on Tumblr in a way I never have and never will on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. It was a place for weirdos and losers and rejects like me, for creatives of all kinds, for a unique batshit sense of humor. It was a place where you could share as much or as little as you wanted, without pressure. It was where I was exposed to perspectives far beyond my own, perspectives than helped me come out and be proud of myself when I had been so torn up inside about my identity. It was a cross-section of internet life, with all the positives and negatives that that entails. And I spent six years there, dammit. You don’t go to a place every day for six years without feeling anything. Going through all the posts that were accidentally ported to my website, I saw ten thousand little fragments of the past, of the person I was two and three and five years ago… what I was thinking, what I was laughing at, what I was watching. And now, because they’ve decided to embrace the hysterical right-wing puritanism of their parent company rather than stand up for their loyal users, it’s all over. The policy could be reversed tomorrow and I’d still never go back. The place has been tainted.
And on a related note… this weekend brought an abrupt and painful end to my beloved Super Best Friends, the LP/streaming group that’s been a constant in my life for the past seven years. It probably sounds stupid, me getting emotional over some guys on YouTube/Twitch that I’ve never met, but more than any other Internet personalities I’ve ever seen, the Best Friends felt… genuine. Less like lofty celebrities and more like your neighbors down the street. One of the highlights of my week for the last five years has been simply listening to them talk about their weeks on the Friendcast, about what’s going on in their lives. They were humble, they were real, they were self-deprecating but honest about their mistakes, and they were frequently hilarious… some of the hardest laughs I’ve had in the last ten years came from their misadventures. They felt, in some strange way, like family. So to hear that the channel is ending and the group is breaking up because Matt and Pat’s friendship has collapsed… my exact words to Drake were “This hurts my soul, man.” Of course they’re all continuing on with their own projects, and of course Pat and Woolie are continuing a new podcast by themselves, but now… I can’t. It won’t ever be the same. I’ll never hear them all laugh together again. A couple hours ago, I went to check my subscriptions for the new Friendcast like I do every Monday, purely out of habit, and it was like a punch to the gut. I said in my tribute message on their Reddit that I understand why it’s happening, and that I don’t want them to continue if it’s no longer bringing them any joy, but… but… Their stuff was my surefire method of cheering myself up whenever reality got too gloomy, and now it’s over. It’s gone, and the world seems much less funny. Regardless of my feelings, though, I want to thank Matt, Pat, Woolie, Liam, and all their friends and comrades, plus the group’s incredible fandom, for all these years. I hope that someday, now that the business aspect of the friendship is over and done, things will begin to heal.
Anyway. I’m making good progress on Shattered Skies Chapter 41, which I estimate is about halfway done at this point. If I can put in one or two more full days on it, I think I’ll be on track to hit my deadline of posting 42 on Christmas next week. I’m really, really proud of the fight scene I finished today, and I hope you all will love it.
My Steven Universe commentary returns tonight, now in its new home on my Pillowfort. I currently have no way to post the archives there, but I’m working on a new WordPress blog to preserve both those and the Star Vs Commentaries as they were on my Tumblr. The site still needs a lot of work, but it’s coming along. I hope that SU’s return can bring some much needed cheer to this week, because I really, really need it.
– BHS

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: BHS Blogress Report: 2018, Week 50 – Maintenance | Tasakeru
  2. Trackback: BHS Blogress Report: 2018, Week 52 – A Very Short Holiday Message | Tasakeru

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